Poem #4: Apology to a lost friend

Next up is a poem on the anguish of those left behind, in war and in peace. Apology to a lost friend, By Nikitha Bollipalli.


I walked down that familiar lane
Watching the place where I grew up.
From the deepest depths of my heart
I felt intense pain.
As the memories I long chose to lock up,
Of age-old laughter and hurt,
Came back to me one by one……
Clear open green meadows,
Vast cloud-streaked blue skies,
Long relaxing swims below the bows,
Above all the early morning sunrise.
I saw them all.
I felt them all.
But I knew.
I knew that they’d never be the same again.
Not without you my friend……
I remember those innocent childhood days,
As we grew up together in this peaceful place.
We shared our joys and tears,
Confided in each other our deepest fears.
I didn’t care for anything.
With you, I knew I’d conquer everything.
But you went away to the army.
And things were never the same….
For your country, you left to fight
Leaving me alone in the now harsh sunlight
I stand here outside your door
Staring at your coffin lying on the floor
As tears trickle down my face.
I yearn to look at your face
And say I’m sorry ………..
I’m sorry my friend
For all the meaningless times we fought
For all that could have been, but was not
For when I ignored your passion
And ignorantly refused to support your decision
You wanted to serve your country
But you left me alone and I was angry…..
Now I stare at the early morning sunrise
At the cloud-streaked blue skies
I stand in the green meadow
Looking at a magnificent rainbow
I think of all the good times
And I know……
I know that it will never be the same again
We can’t just laugh together and sing my friend
Now that you’re gone away
Far from my reach, far away
Where I can never reach you
Or ever hope to speak with you
I long to see your face once more my friend
To tell you I’m sorry
I’m sorry…………
I wish it had been me and not you…